The Standard New Year Post!

One of my favourite photos that I look in America, I think it sums up 2015.

I know this post is really late, but I've just updated my blog and I didn't want to post until it was all finished! I really like it, I think it reflects my personality a lot better now as I had outgrown my old template. Let me know what you think!

Normally I am really good at having a good old ramble, but so much has happened this year, good and bad, and I just don't know where to start! I don't even know if I want this to be a deep and emotional post or a light and fluffy post. Maybe I'll just throw in a bit of both?

I've just had a flick through all of the posts I wrote in 2015 (and since I didn't write many it didn't take long!) but this summarises exactly why I love blogging, because I had forgotten half those things even happened in 2015, some of them felt so long ago, and it's great having an online diary to look back on. This was last year's post and I didn't realise how much of a better place I'm in now until I actually went back and read this.

2015 was a difficult year. Although I can happily say I think it ended with me in a better place than the place I was in when it started. January-May was a manic blur, mum was very ill, I was trying to block this out really and get on with life, working 36 hours a week when I probably should have taken some time off, I didn't even tell my colleagues that she was ill. Maybe part of me was in denial, but I think it was more the fact that I didn't want to be asked about it constantly, I didn't want to bring that part of my life to work and maybe I also used work as a form of escape. But I did go to work every day dreading having that phone call that she had gone. I felt like I was living in limbo, I've never said this before but I wanted my mum to die. She wanted to die, she had said as much and for such a strong and amazing person to be destroyed by cancer, hardly able to speak or move near the end, and when she did speak it wasn't her at all. She had never said a mean thing to me in her life until those final months. It was just so awful for all of us. I just wanted her to be let free of her pain and I knew we could never get the old her back, instead we were left with a shell of a person that was just waiting to die. I don't think anyone can ever understand unless you have been in that position yourself. For me it was about preserving the good memories of her that I had and trying my best not to let these terrible new memories take over. I think I will write a post on grief soon. Because personally a large part of my grief happened before my mum died, because in my mind I had lost her a long time before she was actually gone, and that was very difficult to deal with alone because very few people knew what was going on. 

In May mum died, and I wrote a personal post saying goodbye. Although how I felt was horrendous, I want to look back and be able to remember those feelings one day. Maybe when things get bad I can reassure myself I've been through worse. We spent a lot of that month crying and pulling together as a family. But I didn't let the pain stop me living. Me and my best friend had booked a trip to London a month before which fell a week after Mum's death to the day. My friend of course said we didn't have to go, but I thought about it and Mum would have said well why wouldn't you go?! So we went, and I had an amazing time. You can't stop living just because someone has died, and you know what, living is actually a brilliant distraction. 

I then convinced my Dad to let me get a dog. Now I'm not exaggerating, I'm 23 and for 22 years of my life I had asked and asked my Dad for a dog. I think I finally gave up aged about 20. And I know it may seem a bit insensitive to put that pressure on my Dad at such a difficult time. And I do know he only caved because he felt sorry for me because Mum was my best friend, but I honestly knew it was the best thing to do for me, my Dad and my brother, not just myself. Theo arrived in our lives and instantly proved a massive distraction, something that needed constant care and attention. Our house had been so hectic when mum was alive, there were constantly carers and nurses rushing in and out, and suddenly when she had gone it was so silent and empty. Theo came charging into that silent and empty space and filled it up again. He is the most loving and adoring dog, he's so happy all the time and you can't look at him and be sad. Of course he quickly turned into my Dad's dog rather than mine, and even though dad claimed to not like dogs, Theo sleeps in Dad's bed with him every night. But I'm still the one he comes to if he wants a cuddle and a fuss. 

The summer consisted of me trying my best to get back into a normal routine and living my life. I had been accepted onto an MSc course, booked a holiday to Zante, went to see Taylor Swift in Hyde Park which was amazing and we were blessed with the weather! I actually visited London four times in 2015, mainly to meet up with friends that I met in America. Me and my best friend then decided to take the plunge and signed up for a half marathon in September! We didn't have that much time to train as we were used to just running 6 miles every couple of weeks, and we had to up this to 13.5 in just a couple of months! But we managed to run the whole thing and raised over £900 for Macmillan Cancer Support, which I am still over the moon about! I did actually write a whole section about fitness, but it was huge and I decided it needed its own post. So that's what I've done and I'll be posting that soon! But to summarise the second half of 2015 was a good year fitness wise, and I have some good plans for 2016! 

Zante

Berlin Zoo

The Robin Hood Half Marathon

Ready to race!

Hyde Park

September saw me start back at university, only part time which is one day a week as I still work 30 hours a week, but it was still a shock to the system! I found the step up to MSc very hard, but I still enjoyed being back at uni, there's just something about being a student that I love! It also gave me a sense of purpose, knowing what I actually want to do in life and having a goal, which is nice. I haven't done that much since September to be honest, I've met up with some friends, had workout classes during the week, went to some Halloween parties and enjoyed the Christmas festivities! Although Christmas was a hectic blur this year as working in retail it always is, but add assignments due December/January to that and there wasn't many spare minutes!

2015 seems to have flown by, but then when I look back at some of the things that happened, they do seem so long ago. Here's a few random things that I loved in 2015:

The Walking Dead
Theo
Benefit Hoola Bronzer
MAC Velvet Teddy
I found a new love for lip liners, particularly MAC's Whirl!
French Plaits/Braids
A spontaneous trip to Berlin
Not having to defrost the car (although I've had to the last few days!)
Being back at uni (part time)
Reading more
Having more confidence

What I want to achieve in 2016

So in my Blogger Planner there was a page for New Years Resolutions, which I wrote down and I'll type up here too, but I also added my own little list of things I don't need to work on this year, just as a little boost to my confidence to remind myself I am doing alright! Here's what I wrote:

2016 Resolutions:

1. Start assignments earlier (after having the horrendous experience of writing 9,000 words over Christmas!)
2. Continue working out
3. Eat healthier
4. Cook more meals and a greater variety of healthy meals
5. Blog more
6. Use my planner more
7. Do more kind things
8. Visit a new country
9. Do another fitness challenge
10. Walk the dog more
11. Get some planning experience

And what I don't need to do...

1. See friends more, I've seen them all a lot last year!
2. Say yes to more opportunities, again I said yes to a lot of opportunities last year.
3. Get a boyfriend! There's so much pressure these days, and I refuse to force anything.
4. Get up earlier, I did a pretty good job of that last year!

I hope you all had an amazing 2015, and have an even better 2016!

Life Lately and a Blogging Break

So I've unintentionally taken nearly a three month break from blogging.. I think lately the weeks just seem to merge together and before I know it it's been three weeks and I haven't wrote anything! It's not that I'm lacking inspiration, it's just that I've been busy and I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my posts so I didn't want to upload anything half hearted! But I'm going to try and get more organised now and start scheduling posts as that seems to be a lot easier for me!

Anyway I thought I'd write a summary (which will probably turn into an essay) of what I've been up to the past three months, these posts are just as much for me as they are for you as I love to look back on them!

What I've been up to..

Summer flew by didn't it!! I shared some of what I did in my last post, but I also went on lots of walks and runs, a camping trip, visited London with friends again, attended a very rainy ladies day, went to Zante for a week, went to the spa, had a drastic hair change and of course worked a lot! Autumn hasn't been as fun-filled so far but then again I kind of like hibernating in autumn. I have started my MSc though! And safe to say I'm petrified, and already procrastinating.. I feel like I've forgot how to write essays! On the more fun side I visited some friends in Lincoln last weekend and the weekend before we had a good night for a friends leaving do, and of course next weekend is Halloween which I have fortunately booked off work as I am attending two parties this year!

Here's some of my holiday snaps and some party holiday outfits for you..

Top: Miss Selfridge

Skirt: River Island

Bikini: Miss Selfridge

Top: New Look

Skirt: Miss Selfridge

Bag: New Look

Top: New Look

Shorts: New Look

Fitness

I have actually been quite good the last three months! Basically me and my best friend had been talking about running a half marathon to raise money for Macmillan, and we finally plucked up the courage and took the plunge! We didn't have long to train and the most I'd ever run about two months before the race was 7 miles.. so only another 6.1 to add onto that and I'd be set! 
I mainly prepared by doing bootcamp sessions twice a week with a local run, and usually two runs a week, one long one; about 6-10 miles and one short one; about 3 miles. When we were actually running the race I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have liked, I think I panicked at the thought of failing and the amount of people we were surrounded by made me feel claustrophobic! Whilst my friend was buzzing off the atmosphere I was a stressed out mess! We made it round though and ran the whole thing which was my only goal really. We did it in 2 hours 15 which isn't bad considering our training was very last minute and that was the furthest I've ever ran! 
We've also raised £845 for Macmillan which I'm really happy with since our goal was £500! We ran it in memory of my mum as Macmillan did a lot for her while she was ill so I wanted to repay them. If anyone wants to donate the page is actually still open for donations for a few more weeks at: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/Running4Rose 

What I've been loving

My puppy! He's 6 and a half months old and he really has his own personality now. He's so cheeky and full of energy but he also loves a cuddle and we spend most of our evenings on the sofa together snuggled up with a blanket! 
My hair; I had a lot chopped off which I initially freaked out about as it was more than I asked for and the highlights I had looked terrible too! But it has grown out a bit since but looks better than it did really long and I've had my routes done darker so I have a sort of subtle ombre effect now which I like! And my hair has finally come away from the dark side which I struggled to shift for a good year.. 
In terms of beauty I've been loving the Nicky Clarke Diamond Shine Hair Styling Wand. I think it looks a bit tacky, but it works amazingly! My GHDs won't hold a curl anymore, but these do it perfectly! 
I've also started watching The Walking Dead, finally! Everyone told me it was amazing but I'm terrified of zombies so I was skeptical.. But since it's near Halloween and seasons 1-5 are on Sky boxsets I thought I'd give it a go! I've actually really got into it and it keeps me on the edge of my seat every episode! Although I warn you don't watch it before bed, I've had some seriously messed up dreams the past couple of nights!

I think that's about everything, hope you enjoyed the essay! I'll leave you with a peak of my Instagram (@xbeccabe):

 1. My friend's Birthday drinks

2. Mental puppies playing!

3. A weekend camping in the Derbyshire countryside!

4. Love an inspirational quote

5. Ladies Day OOTD, dress from ASOS. Unfortunately it rained the whole day :(

6. With the girls

7. Lovely breakfast at a local gem on a beautiful morning

8. Me and the pup, he actually stayed still for a moment!

9. Be classy!

10. Zante sunrise

11. A day spent at Eden Hall Spa

12. The Many Faces of Theo Part I 

13. Training for our half marathon!

14. Race day, running for Macmillan!

15. Autumn time, my favourite!

16. The Many Faces of Theo Part II

17&18. FOTN and OOTN I wore my new Misguided dress last week and I love it!

April Summary

Firstly, May the Fourth be with you! Star Wars has been on all day so far in our house..

This month I feel like I've been even scattier than my usual self! Like I've got into this habit of posting these "Hello April" etc. photos on my Instagram so when I look back I know what month I took which photos in (handy tip there for you!) but I didn't even realise it was May until yesterday which was three days in!! Oops! Also this is the first time in like 3 months that I haven't stuck to my blogging schedule! I was off work at the end of April and planned to blog lots and get all my posts scheduled, but I just didn't have the time and fell into the trap of writing them on the day (which I hate) and this post was meant to go up on Saturday but I didn't have the time! I'm disappointed with myself!

Anyway let's get on with it..

What I've been up to..

Not going to lie April was a bit of a rollercoaster month! Some days I found myself feeling really happy and loving life, but other days I've just struggled to get out of bed, had no motivation for anything and just felt really down about everything. I think that's where my blogging suffered partly, because when I feel sad you I just don't tend to have the motivation to blog. I want my posts to be happy and I just don't feel like I can fake that when I'm feeling down. But then when I felt better and was wanting to blog I was too busy! I started off the month seeing a guy too, which I thought was going really well, but, lo and behold, men are a mysterious (and annoying) species and he decided he didn't want to take it any further. So that was a bit of a knock to my confidence, so I spent the rest of the month really trying to feel good about myself again. I started taking my fitness more seriously, which you can read about in my last post here. I intend to post monthly updates on that. I also ordered myself the infamous MAC Velvet Teddy to perk myself up! Oh and the mini break I went on with my friend to Berlin helped too! German guys like English girls apparently. You can read about my trip in this post.

Fitness

As I said I've wrote an in depth post about my fitness and what goals I'd like to achieve, but I'll give you a quick overview of what I've done since that. I started this morning with a nice 5 mile run with my best friend, we did okay but I do think I need to really start focusing on improving my running if I'm going to do this half marathon in September! Running is a tricky one, you can be really physically fit but if you don't run a lot then you probably won't be able to run far! I think it's a mind game more than anything. I've been doing these Insanity classes at the gym on Saturdays too (well when I'm not at work) and they are incredibly hard but I love them! I always feel so good after. Well until I start aching anyway! I've been trying to fit some gym and swimming into my week too. I think my perfect week would be three gym sessions (leg + abs day then arms + back day and alternate weekly), one swim (I sort of count that as a rest day) my insanity class and a run (they would count as my cardio days). But I guarantee I'll rarely be able to fit all that in! But a girl can try right?!

Blogging

I already mentioned that I've slacked off with blogging a bit this month. Honestly though I do think that's okay sometimes, as if I don't feel like blogging I just generally don't do it. Because blogging to me is a hobby, it's not a job and I don't ever want to get to the point where I find it boring and it stresses me out. I seem to have posts in my head to write but haven't got round to taking the photos, but then photos ready for posts I don't want to write yet! I've even bought the product for my giveaway but haven't wrote the post yet! Bad Becca!! Also one thing I've been struggling with which I would like your help on, is blogging friends.. Which I know sounds a bit pathetic! Basically how do you guys keep up with people and make blogging friends?? I have certain bloggers that I read more than others and tend to interact with on Instagram and Twitter sometimes, but I wouldn't really say I have any close blogging friends.. But I want some!! I think my problem is I don't have time to keep up with social media like Twitter and Instagram, so I miss people's tweets and I always forget to do the blogger chats! Does anyone have any tips for me?? Also if any of you want to follow me on Instagram or Twitter I will follow back and maybe I'll make friends that way?! Blogger friends wanted! Haha I'm such a loner blogger!

What I've Been Loving

MAC Velvet Teddy and Whirl lip pencil! I finally got my hands on them after they were sold out for ages.. I really like the colours on me actually! I will be doing a review. I've also dyed my hair dark again after struggling to get it lighter, and now that it's dark but no longer black I really like it! The dye I used was Garnier Nutrisse in Mocha. I've also been loving the InstaNatural Vitamin C moisturizer that I was sent to review, which you can read about here, it just makes my skin so soft! Of course Made in Chelsea and Game of Thrones are now back on so they have been making me look forward to Mondays a hell of a lot more! The only issue is they are both on at the same time! And when I'm up at 5 I can't really watch one at 10.. I think I'll stay up tonight though! I've been enjoying The Island with Bear Grylls too, it's so intense I love it! Although I'd never do it.. oo and I always forget to mention what I've been reading! I'm currently reading the All Souls Trilogy and I'm on book two (Shadow of Night). They are a supernatural series which are my favourite (so much more exciting than real life!) and I'd definitely recommend them if you like vampires and witches and all that jazz. 

Hmm anything else to report? Oo I applied for a Masters in Urban Planning the other day! So fingers crossed! Also I'm not feeling summer ready at all! Not in terms of how I look, but my wardrobe! I feel like I have no summer clothes! It's sad. 

Anyway, here are a few of my Instagram snaps for the April, I took a lot this month, there was more than double this!

1. Hello April

2. Easter brownie with creme eggs in, it was so gooey and amazing!

3. Snapchat whore

4. Bought these to motivate me!

5. The happiest elephant you've ever seen?!

6. Annabel and I ready for a night out in Berlin!

7. This just explains my life.

8. Trying out Velvet Teddy and Whirl and my new hair colour = happy girl!

9. I love a good quote and I feel like this is me right now.

How was your April? Are you feeling summer ready?!

March Summary

Honestly I have no idea where March has gone! Looking back it is just a blur.. I'm trying to think what I've done this month, and honestly I think the answer is not that much! 

Work

I've still been working about 30 hours a week at work, so that's kept me busy! I think it really tired me out this month though, I was just really struggling to get up and couldn't wait for my week off near the end of the month! 

What I've been up to..

Okay now I've thought about it I actually have done a few bits.. My friend came back from travelling a couple of weeks ago so I've been catching up with him and we all went on a night out for his birthday which was really nice because I hadn't seen some of them in over a year! I've been on a couple more dates and the hunt for love still continues! Would anyone like me to do a post on the dating game?? Haha. I had my hair cut and highlighted (how exciting!) but I do actually really like the cut, it looks so fresh and actually looks nice straight and down now! Of course I watched the eclipse too, well tried to anyway but a load of clouds decided to interrupt it just as it was about to get going! So I didn't see much.. But I had my tripod set up and everything trying to get the perfect shot whilst not actually being able to look at the sun for fear of being blinded.. All good fun! 

Fitness

Hmm I will have to admit I haven't been great this month! I've just been tired and had no motivation! This past week I've been ill with a cold which hasn't helped. I've probably been about 1-2 times a week, although I've been on some long walks and a run, so I guess I haven't been horrendous but it's not where I want to be at really! And I've been comfort eating, naughty!! Easter goodies don't help either! On next months post I really hope I'll be saying how good I've been! Once Easter is over *wink emoji*.

Blogging

I've kept up with my two posts a week blogging-wise, which I am very happy about! Seeing as I'm the most scatty person ever.. And there's going to be a post on that soon.. I think I really enjoyed all of the posts I wrote this month too! I feel like I posted a good mixture, from 10 Tips To Make Your Makeup Last Longer (which I think went down well!) which was a light hearted but informative post, to my more intense Being Happy: Part II post. I even pulled out an OOTD post for you! Which rarely happens when you have to wear a uniform to work 5 days a week!

I'm also at nearly 500 followers on Bloglovin'! (496 as I'm writing this) wow!! I am so proud of how far my little blog has come, not just in terms of followers but just seeing how my photography and writing skills have slowly improved! I always see my blog as a work in progress, it is never perfect, but that's the fun of it! I am so happy that I've stuck at it too, since I never stick at anything! I even hit 100 published posts this month! I have no idea how I've even wrote 100 posts! When I reach 500 I will be doing my first giveaway, I haven't decided what I will giveaway yet, but keep an eye out so you can enter! I'm hoping it will happen in April. Thank you so much everyone that has followed/commented or even just read! It means a lot :).

What I've been loving...

In terms of beauty I got a few new bits in this haul, and I have been loving Estée Lauder's Advanced Night Repair and Clinique's Super Rescue Antioxidant Night Moisturiser, I think I'll do a nighttime skincare routine in April, as I feel I've finally got a routine that I love! 

As for none beauty things I've been loving, cups of tea! By the bucket! And not my usual herbal teas, but normal tea! I've also been pretty much living in my Ted Baker onesie in the evenings after work, its so cosy and when I feel ill it's really comforting, it's velour and the softest thing ever so I just love to stroke it! And it has rose gold buttons, need I say more? I have also been loving the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack, it's actually really good! Embarrassing when it flashes on my iPod at the gym though.. Hozier's album is another I've been loving too, his album is unusual but I love it!

Anyway, here's what I posted on Instagram this March!

1. Experimenting with Naked 2 Basics palette (review coming soon!)

2. Went on a 5 mile run with Hozier for motivation.

3. I was off for the week but was ill so spent most of the week with a lemon and honey editing blog posts.

4. Another Urban Decay makeup look, this time using Vice 3 (review coming very soon!)

5. My attempt at photographing the eclipse..

6. OOTD as seen in this post.

7. This quote says a lot.

8. Urban Decay Vice 3 smokey brown look (got a few Instagrammed this month didn't I?!)

9&10. Photos from my night out in Sheffield

11. OOTN in Sheffield! Dress is from Misguided (last year).

12. Hello March!

Read my February Summary here.

What did you get up to this March? :)

February Summary

February is nearly always my least favourite month of the year. It's bitterly cold, summer seems so far away and Christmas feels like a distant dream. But for saying I never really enjoy February, this one hasn't been too bad!

I've decided to write these posts mainly because I think they will be nice for me to look back on in the future, and it's also a nice way to look back at the month and see what I've actually done, as sometimes the months just seem to merge together and I don't even know what I've done with that time!

First off, Eastenders! Who killed Lucy?! We all know now! I hadn't watched it in five years but I had to tune in for that one!

This month I've worked nearly full time as there was overtime up for grabs (yay!) but I had a week off too at the start of the month which I really enjoyed!

I've been really good at going to the gym this month, I feel like I finally have a routine down and I am enjoying going. I'm still getting my eating on track (we've had Valentines Day and Pancake Day this month, obviously there were some naughty treats involved!) I also did a 6.5 miles (10.5 km) run with my friend last week! We were really proud of ourselves because we hadn't been running in a while and we didn't think we would be able to run that far! Just double that and then I'm ready for the half marathon...

Speaking of healthy eating, I've tried out a few new recipes this month (nothing too fancy) but I'm really trying to eat more roasted veggies and sweet potato. I also ordered some coconut oil and agave syrup which arrived the other day, which will mean I can bake some healthy goodies!

Blogging-wise, I've been quite good at posting this month, I've been writing and scheduling two posts a week, one a review usually and the other anything else that I feel like posting really! 

One of my best friends also asked me to be a bridesmaid for her in 2016! How exciting! You can check her blog out here.

I actually ended up having a date on Valentine's Day! Even though I wrote this post. It was nice to have good company and a meal cooked for me!

I haven't done much this month because I've been pretty skint after buying my new laptop which I bought at the beginning of February. I've been really good and haven't bought any new clothes or anything! Just hibernated and been to the gym really!

So what have I been loving this month? I haven't tried any new beauty products, but I've been loving Max Factor Flawless Perfection Blusher in Classic Rose (review coming soon!) I also can't get enough of Crabtree & Evelyn Spiced Ginger Hand Therapy Cream (a random one, I know!) I received this at the Blogger Secret Santa Meet Up in November. I've been loving my Urban Decay Vice 3 Palette too! It's so versatile! 

Other non-beauty related things I've been loving are:
My new Macbook Pro! I basically spent all my wages on it.. But I needed it and I love it so much! Broadchurch is what I've been loving on the telly! And I'm so happy that there's going to be a season 3! The gym, really getting into fitness again and I'm loving feeling stronger! Roasted veggies (can't get enough of them at the moment!)

That's it really! where has February gone?!

What you can expect from my blog in March.. 
I have a couple of reviews scheduled already! I have a lot of posts that I have planned to write, so we shall see which ones I manage to put together next month! I would like to post at least one post that's fitness/health related, maybe a healthy recipe or I might post my workout regime, I'll see what I can come up with!

And here's what I posted on Instagram this February!

1. Googling salad recipes on my week off!

2. This is one of the salad recipes, roasted sweet potato and a greater courgette, super easy!

3. A photo I took in New York in September 2014. Reminiscing!

4. How my friend asked me to be one of her bridesmaids! How cute?!

5. I think my parents felt sorry for me being single on Valentines day so they bought me some presents! So lovely!

6. The gardens at my gym, beautiful.

7. Yummy lunch to substitute my craving for cheese on toast!

8. Wrapped up in blankets with a cuppa watching The Little Mermaid after my long run. 

9. Off to see Fifty Shades of Grey! I thought it was alright actually, I liked how the whole thing was composed.

To end my February, tonight I am off to Sheffield to have a night out with the uni lot, which should be fun!

How was your February?